CBD self-medicating: what worked for me

I am not a doctor. Please do your own research before deciding if CBD is right for you, and talk to your doctor.

I became aware of CBD for chronic pain through an acquaintance who was kind enough to give me a small bottle of CBD tincture to try. This started me on a journey to figure out whether CBD works for me, and also to figure out the most effective way of ingesting it.

This post goes over the products I’ve tried and which ones I liked. To cut to the chase: My favorite CBD products are the vape pens from Select CBD.

(if you are new to CBD, I encourage reading this informative post on the CBD subreddit)

I tried the following products:

I review these products under the cut.

Continue reading “CBD self-medicating: what worked for me”

My emergency fibro kit

This is a collection of things that I keep together so that I can easily bring it with me anywhere I go. It’s very small which makes it a lot more portable, but obviously does not include bigger items like my cane (which I usually still have in my bag just in case I need it).

The contents of my kit are:

  • Compression gloves [for when my hands start hurting, or when I get too cold in the office but still need to type]
  • Elbow compression sleeve [because working at a desk with a painful elbow is terrible]
  • CBD balm, lavender scented [the lavender helps with stress; at this point I’m unsure if the CBD balm helps with pain]
  • CBD vape, lavender [lavender again helps with stress; vaping CBD does seem to help with my fatigue levels]
  • Medication spares [sometimes I forget to take my medication in the morning. Having spares means I don’t have to go without for the day.]

On Appreciation

This Thanksgiving, social media lit up with a wide variety of gratitude posts. Our celebrations here took a slightly different angle though, focusing on appreciation instead of gratitude.

On Wednesday, Marc came home with a bouquet of flowers to show that he appreciates me. That night, we made an effort to acknowledge each others’ efforts in our relationship and reflect on what we could improve on. It was lovely to feel seen and heard.

In academia, we often must work alongside other academics for periods of time, be they through the long years of the PhD program as your committee members become the gatekeepers of your entire career, or through shorter collaborative research projects. These are all professional relationships, but when you throw something as personal as a chronic illness in the mix, it’s hard to find where the boundaries are.

Clearly, I want to communicate with my supervisors and collaborators that any delays or changes of plans are not due to a personal failing, but are because of an illness I am still trying to grapple with. However, I also acknowledge that they don’t need to be privy to the whirlwind of doctor appointments, new medications and their attending side effects, days of fatigue where even getting out of bed feels like too much, or even days when I have the energy to do work OR to come to work, but not both.

I don’t know that I feel comfortable expressing gratitude to the academic people in my life because of their understanding and patience when it comes to my illness. I mean, should I really be grateful that they are willing to work with me for not being a perfectly healthy human being all the time? Do people experience deep gratitude when they are laid up with the flu and have to delay some things or adapt to do others? Or do they just expect that the other people will be understanding?

So instead of gratitude I want to show appreciation to my collaborators and supervisors who have worked with me in changing things around because of fibromyalgia. It still takes the form of a “thank you” but it changes me from viewing fibro as something that is getting in everyone’s way, to something that gets in my way sometimes but which can be worked with.

I appreciate my academic colleagues for working with me, I appreciate my supervisors for their flexibility, and I appreciate my collaborators for their trust that I will not let them down, even if I have to work in an unorthodox way (such as by taking advantage of insomnia.)

One thing a day: an interview and then nothing

On the morning of Wednesday October 24th, I had a meeting for an internship at a museum. I had contacted the person responsible, exchanged some emails as to what sort of internship I wanted, and was told that they were excited to meet with me to talk about a mutually beneficial arrangement.

So far so good, except this week has been particularly difficult in terms of fibro fog *.

The previous night, I had to cancel a date with Marc because I was so overwhelmingly fatigued that I could barely form sentences. I had gone to sleep early, had a fitful night, woke up with a splitting headache, and faced the prospect of an interview for a position I was genuinely excited about.

That’s one of the (many) frustrating things about fibromyalgia. It robs you of the ability to fully get excited about something, to deeply delve in what you are passionate about. 

Continue reading “One thing a day: an interview and then nothing”